Why is Sexual Health for Mothers forgotten?

Do you find it strange that after the biggest physiological and sexual process that a woman goes through (pregnancy and birth), when the baby is born there seems to be absolutely no follow up care for the woman? Yes sure - the obligatory and outdated conversation on contraception (another blog on that to follow!) but when it comes to rehab, physiotherapy, counselling or psychotherapy there is tumbleweed.

After Sonny’s birth and an episiotomy which left me with a compromised pelvic floor and ongoing painful sex, I was distraught. This part of myself, which also felt like an important part of intimacy that I shared with my partner, was gone. I spoke to friends and family who had an episiotomy and got the same kind of answer - Yes that happened to me. Sex is still painful and that's just the way it is now. 

I know that I am privilege in this regard - I had the contacts and resources (financial, social and professional), to seek the help I needed and I have thankfully and with the work required, recovered. Not everyone has what they need. Many suffer in silence with issues such as prolapse, urinary incontinence, painful scars, pelvic floor dysfunction, diminished libido, relationship challenges and much more. For all of the women who give birth every single day, both vaginally and via C-section, we deserve more. More care, more support and more respect. 

The reality is if we cared for women when conditions were reversible then the medical system would not have ongoing costs associated with urinary incontinence, prolapse etc. You only need to glance at the ever expanding aisle of incontinence products in your local supermarket to see how much of an issue this is. Our bodies are not just a mechanism for reproduction, they are our homes. They are how we experience life as well as give life. We are not just numbers within the medical system, we are mothers, partners, wives, friends and sisters and our sexual health matters.